Marnova – of and from a wandering mind…

Marnova's musings on life, media and Mongolia

Fizzin’

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Ever find that the effervescence of anticipation grabs you and takes a hold of you so tightly that you become scared to actually enjoy it for fear that reality might be a let down by comparison?  Do you ride it and be presented with the inevitable disappointment of reality or keep a lid on it, pushing it down and down so that the only way can be up?

A mirror is held up and a challenge is set – am I wise or foolish, adult or child? It would seem that I am neither here nor there but somewhere in between;  tarrying a while in The Wood Between The Worlds flitting between the twilight of Charn and the youth of Narnia. You do stuff, you get burnt and in theory you learn…my mind speaks good sense to me and my own words sink in and yet I still tend towards playful curiousity, throwing caution to the wind of miniscule possibility.  Uncertainty equates to limitless possibilities, new connections and opportunities.  Pursuing something that started off as a small spark in my imagination, with the tiniest chance of becoming a reality, might actually be what makes me feel alive. 

My father said to someone once that everyone has at least one chance in their lives, it’s up to you what you do with it.   He once had the audacity to have a thought that he could change his life. He held onto that thought and didn’t let it go until it was his.  So for now at least I still prefer to ride the rollercoaster from black to white and back again and know what is there, rather than wade through shades of grey. I hope there will not be a day that I hold the mirror up and choose rhyme and reason over pursuing possibility.

Cambodian Smile

Aspirations & inspiration

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Written by marnova

February 1, 2010 at 6:26 pm

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